Trend Whore

Obnoxious marketing
Anarchy Online (free version), Battlefield 2142, Burnout 3, Everquest 2, Judge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death, Madden 2008, Need for Speed series, Planetside, Rainbow Six: Vegas, Second Life, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, SWAT 4, Test Drive Unlimited, Tiger Woods 2008, Transformers, Guitar Hero 3...

Okay, it’s not so much a trend as something that’s ongoing. But either way, for a while we thought – naively, it seems – that games would let us escape from the non-stop bombardment of commercials we’re forced to endure pretty much everywhere else. It didn’t take long for the Evil Marketing Overlords to realise that these new fandangled things called videogames were rather wildly popular. Wildly popular, no less, with an audience that clearly had a helluva lot of cash to piss away. After all, cutting-edge computer hardware, consoles and big screens are by no means cheap. Nor, for that matter, are games themselves.

In-game advertising hasn’t and, realistically, won’t bring down the price of games. And for that reason it pisses us off something awful. Sure, billboards for real products and businesses in racing and sports titles add an extra touch of authenticity to the experience, but beyond that, what do we, as players, have to gain from the presence of ads in our games? Stuff all, if you ask us. But it’s not like we have much choice if we want to play games like Splinter Cell and Rainbow Six: Vegas.

Annoyance factor: 8


Physics
Half-Life 2, Jurassic Park: Trespasser, MotorStorm, Psi-Ops, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, Stranglehold

Baffling though it may be, physics – you know, that thing gravity, Newton’s Laws of Motion and all that – has been fashionable for some time. One of those trends that’s managed to stand the test of time. You know, like yo-yos.

The ugly mess that was Trespasser, as the two of you who actually played it no doubt know, did bring physics to games long before Source was even a twinkle in Gabe Newell’s eye, but make no mistake, it was Gabe’s baby – Half-Life 2 – that deserves the credit when it comes to truly pushing things in terms of videogame physics. Why? Just approach those two people who played Trespasser. They’ll no doubt have ‘fond’ memories of attempting something that’s theoretically simple like, say, stacking some boxes, only to end up dislocating Minnie Driver’s right arm and crushing themselves under an avalanche of crates, paint tins and lengths of four-by-two.

Half-Life 2 had an amazing physics engine. Valve’s tireless commitment to perfecting the many varieties of the seesaw conundrum, the doorway-that-can-only-be-cleared-with-the-gravitational-power segment and toxic-pool-that-can-only-be-crossed-with-barrels-you-must-push-around puzzle in the years after the game’s debut is testament to their goal of being a truly innovative and exciting developer. Or perhaps it’s not. But hey, at least their games are good enough for us to excuse that.

Annoyance factor: 5



In summing up, we must reiterate what we said earlier. Just as insects don’t exist in our rectal passage, games don’t exist in a bubble. What’s doing well in other mediums, what’s going on in the world around us and the make-a-buck aspect of games development all play a role – one that, at times, is much larger than it ought to be – in the shaping of our medium.

What it all boils down to, though, for most of the ‘trends’ listed above, is that the market demands it. We demand games with solid writing, realistic physics and gritty urban settings. We want – or are perceived to want – racing games that let you choose from a range of fancy paintjobs, several types of hubcap and different coloured neons.

Picking up on and running with fads, movements, staples of other mediums (i.e. quality writing) or real life (i.e. physics) is by no means something that makes for shitty games. Indeed, this piece has mentioned some of the greatest games of the past half-decade or so. These are games that wouldn’t have been half of what they were had their studios ignored the flashes in the pan and cravings for interactive versions of what benchmark programs and tech demos had been doing for years. It’s just that, for every Battlefield 2 or San Andreas or Call of Duty 4, you have a Free Running or Bulletproof or soul-crushingly mundane Need for Speed.

And damn, yo, that shit ain’t right.