Google searches future and other brilliance

A collection of the best April Fools’ press releases we received today

No real news happens on April 1st.

Well, it does, but nobody dares talk about it, lest people wrongfully assume they should laugh off important announcements along with everything else we hear about. It's brilliant.

The internet also goes crazy.

YouTube Australia has some interesting featured videos.
ThinkGeek's just gone insane.
We advertised for Moderators -- but only if you pay us for the privilege.
And Wikipedia's homepage is giving Uncyclopedia a run for its money: “the 24 Hours of LeMons includes such penalties as tarring and feathering a racer's car and crushing a car via audience vote”.

But for us the most fun is watching companies have some fun. And so we’ve pulled together a selection of the best April Fools’ press releases we received today.

Here’s one from corporate security vendor Sophos. It was sent to a member of Haymarket's editorial team (who will remain nameless) by one of his/her most reputable sources, and he/she took it seriously for a moment until the penny dropped:

NEW SOPHOS TECHNOLOGY USES WEBCAMS TO STOP HACKERS IN THEIR TRACKS
Sophos appeals for computer users to send in pictures to increase the accuracy of its new malware-fighting system

Sydney, 01 April 2008 -- IT security and control firm Sophos today announced its new security system RAPIL (Recognition and Analysis of Potentially Intruding Lifeforms), which is able to analyse a PC or Mac user's facial features to determine if they exhibit any characteristics commonly associated with hackers.

The new system uses webcams, now in widespread use on modern computers, to determine the look and feel of computer users in real time. If the user is a hacker, the computer is immediately frozen to prevent further use.

Paul Ducklin, Head of Technology, Asia Pacific for Sophos, observes that this may be one of the most interesting proactive anti-malware technologies ever invented. "RAPIL doesn't just block viruses before they execute," enthuses Ducklin. "It blocks viruses from being written in the first place."

But Ducklin is quick to admit that RAPIL, which at version 0.401 is still in beta, isn't yet perfect. "Although we have 97.8 percent effectiveness for unobscured faces, obfuscation techniques such as the wearing of fake beards reduces the effectiveness of the system dramatically. Even the deployment of a beret can defeat RAPIL, meaning that French hackers are almost undetectable at this stage. We need more real-world data showing non-malicious computer users in a state of facial polymorphism. This will allow us to train the system better."

Sophos is therefore calling upon computer users in Australia and New Zealand to upload facially polymorphic pictures of themselves.

Please upload your photographs here:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/ra-pil

Read more about RAPIL here:
http://www.sophos.com/blog

Watch a video showing RAPIL at work here:
http://www.youtube.com/SophosLabs

ends


Google is famous for its April Fool’s announcements, which have included a broadband service powered by sewage system and toilets. We wouldn’t be surprised if Google took inspiration from Telstra’s broadband service for that one.

Looking ahead: Google announces technology that searches tomorrow's web, today

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA, 1 April 2008 - Google Australia today announced the launch of gDay™, a new beta search technology that will search web pages 24 hours before they are created.

View the gDay™ page for more information, user testimonials and Q+A.

gDay was developed in Google's Sydney engineering centre and can accurately predict future events and internet content. It does this by using machine learning and artificial intelligence techniques from a system called MATE™ (Machine Automated Temporal Extrapolation).

Using Google's index of historic, cached web content and a mashup of numerous factors including recurrence plots and fuzzy measure analysis, gDay creates a sophisticated model of what the internet will look like 24 hours from now - including share price movements, sports results and news events. Plus, using language regression analysis, Google can even predict the actual wording of tomorrow's blogs and newspaper columns.

Then, to rank these future webpages in order of relevance, gDay uses a statistical extrapolation of a page's PageRank, called SageRank.

Only Australian websites are included in the beta.

"Google's Australian engineers have a history of major technological innovations, from Google Maps™ to Mapplets™ to Traffic for Google Maps. Giving humankind the ability to see 24 hours into the future is just a natural progression – of sorts," said Alan Noble, Head of Engineering for Google Australia & New Zealand.

"Users – particularly those who like a casual flutter – will really benefit from this feature. Maybe you want to see tomorrow's rugby scores. Maybe you want to see tomorrow's lotto numbers. Maybe this is the greatest freakin' product ever."

See today's post on the Google Australia Blog.

gDay, MATE, SageRank, PageRank, Google Maps and Google Mapplets are trademarks of Google Inc.


Whirlpool got in on the action, claiming it was going to be taken over by NineMSN:

Sydney, Australia — ninemsn today announced the full acquisition of Australia’s leading online broadband and technology discussion site, Whirlpool.

The acquisition demonstrates the strategic importance of user-powered content to ninemsn’s vision of delivering content and services to customers, where, when and how they want it; and connecting advertisers with a broad, engaged audience wherever they are accessing these services.

According to Tony Faure, ninemsn CEO, Whirlpool represents the changing face of media and technology in Australia. “More and more consumers are turning to sites such as Whirlpool for up to date information, research and discussion. Whirlpool will provide us access to a diverse and technologically aware user base, and allow us in turn to provide our clients with an innovative and cutting-edge marketing solution.”

“We've recognised the expertise of the Whirlpool team in nurturing the largest discussion forum in Australia. Certainly though there are new opportunities to combine Whirlpool with the strength and depth of the ninemsn brands and services. We intend to position the site towards a more mainstream audience, while retaining many of the technical aspects for which it is currently renowned.”

“There are also opportunities for synergy between Whirlpool and Windows Live Spaces. Both sites let you stay in contact with your friends, explore and discover new people, or share with your friends and family. Spaces also has a powerful user profile system with themes, layouts and colors. Whirlpool will really benefit as we integrate the ninemsn user experience into the site.”

Simon Wright, founder of Whirlpool, said “Whirlpool has gone further than I ever imagined. It’s been great to see it become what it is today — the premier resource on broadband and technology-based discussion in Australia. Now, as it moves into its next phase, I’m looking forward to seeing ninemsn apply their proven track record to the Whirlpool concept.”

“Both teams are excited by the opportunities to combine their resources on new projects in technology and broadband content.”

Also unveiled today was a new design for the Whirlpool website. The design, scheduled to be implemented in the coming weeks, brings the site into line with other ninemsn network sites, and includes a new colour scheme and advertising positions.

Financial terms for the acquisition were not discussed.


Finally there’s this one. Electricity Meter & Allied Industries Ltd (Email) was a large Australian manufacturer of meters and household appliances (Kelvinator, Westinghouse, Dishlex and Simpson were all Email brands) before it was taken over in 2001:

EMAIL LIMITED ANNOUNCES GLOBAL TRADEMARK PROTECTION ACTION

SYDNEY – Email Limited, Australia's longest-running manufacturer of electric, gas, and water meters, has announced it will act to protect the integrity of its trademark by pressing a global claim for license fees from senders of electronic mail.

Email Limited has been trading across Australia under its current name since October 30, 1951 and has since grown to become the major supplier of metering and pumping equipment to the Australian market.
During the 1980s, it expanded quickly into the consumer whitegoods market with the takeover of Australian manufacturers including Kelvinator Ltd, McIlwraith-Davey Industries, Simpson Holdings Limited, Brownbuilt Ltd and the steel process and distribution business of Bunge International. To this date, Email operates the largest inland manufacturing facility in New South Wales, from which it manufactures brands including Westinghouse, Dishlex, Simpson, Chef, Metters and Kelvinator.

"We have become concerned about the increasingly popular trend of using the word 'email' to refer to the sending of electronic messages," said Luis Mensajero, chief legal counsel with Email Limited. "Precedent in trademark law confirms that companies must proactively protect their trademarks or risk the dilution of those trademarks. Therefore, we today announce this important action against the increasingly casual use of our trademark around the world."

Email Limited will begin its campaign by launching a claim for damages against Microsoft, Google, and Yahoo!, three of the world's largest providers of electronic mail services. Email Limited is pressing a claim for a per-message royalty to be paid for every electronic message transmitted using the companies' services and products, retroactive to 1971, when the first electronic mail was sent between two PDP-10 computers in Boston, USA.

In the long term, Email Limited will make its trademark available to individuals on a license basis, with users paying a fee of 5 cents per message or buying up discounted blocks for regular sending of electronic mail. Every message sent will be required to feature the statement 'Email is a trademark of Email Limited and is used herewith under non-exclusive license.'

Email is creating a separate business division dedicated to managing this new trademark enforcement action, and will be pressing for punitive damages against those who continue to infringe upon its trademark.

"We feel this case is cut and dry," Mensajero said. "We have been operating as Email for 57 years, long before the first electronic mail was even conceived, and have established clear legal ownership through continuous use of the trademark ever since. With billions of electronic mail messages being sent over the Internet every day and volumes continuing to grow, we simply cannot stand by and watch our the value of our trademark be diluted any longer. We must protect the value of our brand and the interests of our shareholders."


We salute the companies who don't take themselves too seriously and make the start of April fun for all of us.