The Caffeine Addict's Bible

The science behind why caffeine's addictive, how it affects your brain and body, and where to get the most potent fix.

As I write this I have an empty bottle of V on my desk, and a warm tasty mocha in my hand. Such is irony. I’m pretty average, I’d say, for my caffeine intake – at least as far as geeks go (see Atomic Issue 63, page 31, to see just how far we do go). But it’s hard to avoid; we find it in most of our vices: coffee, tea, Coke, chocolate, energy drinks, even some mints. As a population, we seem to be quite fond of it, or at least the compounds that carry it. And for geeks, especially, caffeine is all but an essential dietary intake. So is it a good one?

Stimulus
On its own caffeine, also known as 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine, is an odourless and bitter tasting powder with the molecular formula C8H10N4O2. It’s also the world’s most popular and socially acceptable drug.

Contrary to popular belief, tea usually doesn’t contain as much caffeine as coffee, but does contain much more of a close relative called theophylline (1,3-dimethylxanthine). It has many of the same effects, but is more diuretic (makes you pee) and works slower.

Theobromine (3,7-dimethylxanthine), which you’ve probably heard about, is a cousin to both of these but is considerably weaker (about one tenth the effect). It’s found in cocoa, and thus chocolate.

Theophylline and theobromine are also smooth muscle relaxants (that is arteries and veins, bladder, gastrointestinal, respiratory tract and more). Which is why your mum always gave you tea when you had a cold.

Theobromine is highly toxic to dogs and overdose can result in death. A few biscuits or bites of cake wouldn’t go astray, but a half a kilogram of chocolate would lead to poisoning. And dogs, being dogs, will happily eat out of rubbish bins and whatever strangers feed them!

But back to caffeine – it’s not just found in coffee beans. Some sixty different species of plants employ caffeine, where it primarily acts as a pesticide to stop insects eating the plant. Trust humans to come along and get a kick out of it.

And as with just about everything, balance and moderation is key: caffeine is toxic and even fatal in high doses. And you don’t just have to swallow it; you can also absorb it through the skin (ergo the Alaskan invention of caffeinated lip balm, the Spazzstick).

Caffeine is in a class of drugs known as a stimulant (no surprise there), where it primarily affects the central nervous system, increasing heart rate and metabolism, but also helping some muscles to contract more easily. As you know, it gives a feeling of altered-ness and can reduce fatigue. Its effect on the respiratory system is even used medically on occasion.

But it has side effects – mainly it plays with your brain’s chemical reactions, binding to the same receptors as adenosine. Adenosine is an inhibitory neurotransmitter, and plays a large role in making you feel sleepy so your body can get some rest. It also affects the quality of sleep, so caffeine doesn’t just keep you awake longer but when you do sleep its less effective.

It’s also a diuretic. This is thought to be due to increased blood flow through the kidneys. Now you know why you go to the toilet more when you’ve been sculling Vs at LAN days!