10 things movies teach us about Virus Outbreaks

3. Viruses do awesome things to those infected in terms of their physical abilities.
Sure, everyone has to get sick or die, but that's not so bad when you realise everyone's going to come back as something awesome. The viruses will give you powers like super speed and super aggression. You'll be a crazy, violent killing machine who only knows how to destroy! If you do die, then you might come back as a vampire, gain the powers of the werewolf, or even become a brain-hungry zombie. Frankly, it's okay with me if I die of swine flu to know that I've got a good chance of coming back with some super-awesome abilities or as part of a horde of something. I've always wanted to be in a horde. If I get to do a lot of pointing and screeching, then it's a bonus.

4. Viruses always make people 1000 percent more badass.
If you become infected, then you will definitely become cooler than you were when you were alive. Most viruses usually affect the blood somehow, so either you'll bleed out of every orifice and your flesh will slowly melt away (Cabin Fever) or your blood will dramatically turn to dust (Andromeda Strain). Either way, your death will be gruesome as well as awesome. The creature you come back as will also look incredibly cool and evil. You may be covered in slime and sores, you might get creepy milky white eyes, or you might become even cooler.

If you are lucky enough to become a survivor, you will instantly become transformed from a mild mannered accountant (or lazy writer for a geeky website) into a 1980s action hero so hard you'll make Jason Statham say, "Damn, you're the man!" Your wardrobe will consist of cool boots, leather pants (for women) or cargo pants (for men), a tight undershirt, a flowing overcoat, and an assortment of impressive weapons. You will possibly have a headband, and someone in your group will wear two crossed bandoleers of ammunition. Someone else will have procured a katana and will be surprisingly proficient at wielding bladed weapons despite having been a video store clerk in their former life.

If you needed glasses before, your eyesight will magically improve (or your glasses will break and you'll die). Women will never have to shave their legs, and men will have constant three-day Don Johnson stubble. No one will ever have to use the bathroom (if you do wander off to pee, you will also die) and brushing your teeth will become a thing of the past. Your glorious white smile will not be affected.

5. The virus will kill everyone except for a plucky band of survivors.
One of these survivors will have a dog, and one will be a child. The group will reflect an ethnically and racially diverse cross-section of society. Under normal circumstances, everyone would hate and/or fear one another. However, in the event of a world-ending virus, everyone will band together and push past their minor differences for the survival of the human race. Black or white, rich or poor, young or old, Mac or PC... everyone will get along, there will be at least three or four man-hugs between former rivals, and the hard times will forge lasting friendships as you and your new posse band together to eliminate either the attacking monsters or a rival band of evil survivors who are possibly in the thrall of Satan. Nothing brings people together like mass murder!

6. There will always be a perfect hiding spot, and you will always somehow end up in that location.
Maybe it's a mall that is locked up for the night. Maybe it's a well-fortified gun store. Maybe it's a bomb shelter. Maybe it's a secluded farmhouse. Wherever you and your fellow survivors gather, you will find everything you need. The canned goods will be plentiful. There will somehow be fresh water. There will be plenty of things to barricade yourselves into your hidey-hole with, and even an indestructible old pick-up truck that will be needed to escape. There will be a wealth of clothes that just happen to fit every member of your group perfectly, no matter how tall, small, or fat they might be. There will be toys for the children. Your group will definitely be lulled into a false sense of security.