USB Missile Launcher vs Roboreptile

Incredible video footage of the greatest battle since King Kong vs Godzilla!

A couple of weeks ago our office was invaded by Roboreptile. This lame and screechy collection of plastic breakables demanded some form of coverage on the Atomic site. It demanded it! In ‘roam’ mode it would spontaneously lurch upright and screech “I’m the latest fusion of technology and fun, do a review for your site bitch!”

“You’re just a stupid toy. You ain’t no Robosapien.” We mocked the Robosaur and its unjointed legjoints, mocking us with supposed agility and trickery.

“All you do is wobble around then fall over, Stupidosaurus!”

Then, just as this battle of verbal oneupmanship was becoming dreary, the USB Missile Launcher arrived.

“%$#*@# SICK!” I yelled so the whole office heard, when upon my desk it landed. And sick it was. A 3-missile missile launcher that you controlled with your keyboard… YEAH!!

But after only a day it had broken itself. One of the missiles stays in its pod – regardless of the impending dinosaur emergency at hand! And, on Day 2 it stopped rotating to the left. This information we tried to keep from Robosaurus, lest he take advantage of this kink in our armor.

Stupid dinosaur doesn’t need no steenkin strategy to attack. Nope. He just up and lurches when he feels like a mauling, which happened to be right when we were conducting range and altitude tests on the USB Missile Launcher.

It was on! Robosaurus came at me across the desk as if he was in some out-of-control motorised pre-programmed attempt at simulating the latest fusion of fun and technology.

As if born for this moment, USB Missile Launcher unleashed the hell it had been storing up under springed tension its whole life.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

USB Missile Launcher was spent, its load shot. But it didn’t matter. Robosaurus had taken a fatal hit and had been blasted into the chasm by the unstoppable bolts of justice! Or had waddled too far and fallen off the desk. Depending on where you were sitting.

A truce was called. It was all too much for USB Missile Launcher, which now only moved up and down and shot 2/3rds of its payload. It was near-extinct.

Robosaurus, meanwhile, and after taking a couple of heavy falls, plodding relentlessly onward. Screeching “last laugh = mine”.

Stoopid robosaurus…

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