Sunday November 22, 2009 12:01 AM AEST

A Call for New Mods

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A Call for New Mods
By David Hollingworth
Apr 1, 2008
Tags: A | Call | for | New | Mods

It's time. The call is out. Do you have what it takes to join the few, the proud... the mods?

Due to recent changes in modding practices, and with the workload of the current mods increasing, we're now on the lookout for three (3) new mods.

If this sounds like something you'd enjoy, please check out the conditions below, and check out the application form. Your application must contain examples of why you would be suited for this position. These can be taken from either forum activities or real life situations.

The person we're looking for needs to:
1) Be at least an Overlord in rank
2) Be prepared to make tough decisions when it comes to modding
3) Have atomic green blood
4) Spend several hours a day on their PC
5) Have current tetanus and HIV injections
6) Be able to speak at least 2 (two) languages (may be programming in nature)
7) Agree to pay $499.95 modding fee upon successful acceptance of job.

The new modding fee of $499.95 (four hundred and ninety nine dollars and ninety five cents) has been created to upkeep the exclusive lifestyle of the current mods, and help fund the ongoing red wine, cheese and caviar mod meets. As a new mod, you will also be expected to be a waiter at your first one of these meets.

Payment of this amount can be made by Visa or Mastercard, but unfortunately we don't accept AMEX or Diners Club at this time. We do however, accept PayPal.

Upon becoming a mod, you will also recieve the following:
1) Login details to Teh Mod Cave where you can join us in spreading gossip about past moderators.
2) The light green 'Mod' label under your name.
3) A fluoro green Mod Edition mobile phone (for approved mod use only).
4) Your mod lapel pin ($9.95 fee applies if lost).
5) A sample bag containing a number of Haymarket magazines and Smith's potato crisps (in a variety of flavours and sizes).

Sound fun? There are some downsides! Including, but not limited too:
1) People will never understand you. Your only solace will be angsty power ballads and the pantsless love of your fellow mods.
2) Carrying the heavy burden that is the BanHammer. Its stat bonuses are crazy-big, but its Attack Speed is cumbersome at best, and David never cleans it after using it.
3) Having to place sticky stuff all over threads. It's an... involved process that we'll explain once you sign the waiver.
4) Having other mods wake you up at 3am to read over their fanfic. And don't get us started on a certain God's fixation with Jayne/Shepherd Book stories. Enough already!

So if that sounds like a challenge for you, let us know. Oh, and happy April Fool's!

 
 
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Atomic Magazine

Issue: 107 | December, 2009

Atomic is a magazine aimed squarely at computer enthusiasts, gamers, and serious PC upgraders.

Every month we bring you the latest reviews of new technology and PC components, in depth features on everything from overclocking to console hacking, and gaming previews and interviews.
 
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