Apple Computer Gets Kiss of Death

Oracle CEO and general Man of Adventure Larry Ellison has come out swinging at a recent conference in the US, claiming that Apple Computers will be THE next big thing in the digital appliance market. 'I think Apple can be the greatest provider of

Oracle CEO and general Man of Adventure Larry Ellison has come out swinging at a recent conference in the US, claiming that Apple Computers will be THE next big thing in the digital appliance market. 'I think Apple can be the greatest provider of digital appliances in this market,' said the stylishly stubbled Ellison. 'I think Apple's biggest competitor is going to be Sony.' Ellison's outburst is in line with recent rumours that Apple is indeed thinking of expanding into consumer electronic devices.

But Apple iCEO and good friend of Ellison, Steve Jobs, is not convinced. 'Man, a few years ago Larry swore three ways from Sunday that network computers would kill the PC, and did that one come true? I wish he wouldn't do shit like this. I mean, it helps no one.'

This is merely another mark against Ellison's ability to predict the market. Just as Betamax was about to kick VHS out of the water, Ellison commented to friends that he thought the struggling video format was a sure winner. Ellison was also an early supporter of the Push model of datacasting on the Web, and is rumoured to have suggested to George Lucas that a loveable alien with vaguely rastafarian tendencies was a great idea for Episode One.