FCC wants porn-free free Web access for all

Internet without the money shot.

Everyone likes to get something for nothing, which is probably why outgoing Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Chairman Kevin Martin says he’ll push for a free, but porn-free Internet service in an upcoming December meeting.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Martin proposes that all Americans should have unpaid access to a filth-free wireless Internet service as the airwaves are being auctioned off, left, right and centre.

Apparently Martin reckons the winning bidder should set aside at least 25 per cent of the airwaves for a slower, but free-of-charge service, filled with appropriate, educationally-enlightening content... without titties. The rest of the airwaves would be reserved for a faster, paid service, with all the one-handed surfing you can stomach.

Unsurprisingly, critics are already up in arms, with consumer groups clamouring that the FCC’s 'filtering' – or censorship – would be too extreme, whilst wireless carriers are just upset they will only be able to rip people off for 75 per cent of the airwaves. Although, the 'official' reason they’re upset is that the plan might interfere with their own radio waves.

Sigh, so the old adage of 'the best things in life are free' doesn’t apply to Internet porn then. What a swindle.