US To Forms New Special Force

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The Pentagon is reviewing plans to form a new special force for the possible war with Iraq, a DoD spokesman said.

The newly formed special force will be entirely comprised of chickens, Major Victor Ree revealed. Their task will be to go into Iraq ahead of regular troops to detect biological and chemical weapons.

In the best tradition of the Green Berets, the new squad will be called "Red Roasters", it will be headed by a Colonel formerly based in the state of Kentuky who will lead 12 others into battle. The names of all 13 members of the squad will remain a secret.

Already the new elite soldiers have proven themselves in a mock battle
codenamed "Chicken Tonight".

Major Ree said they performed extremly well, but the real test is in battle. "Make no mistake," said the Major, "they must be be on their guard all the time and try to blend in with the local farm animals. Should they be discovered and captured, they are likely to face extreme torture, the Iraqis will strip them, disembowel them, tear out their throats, boil them in hot water, stuff them with spices, hang them on a beam for hours before roasting them in an oven... say anyone angry? Let's have lunch."

Critics have dismissed the effecticeness of the Red Roasters however.
Military analyst Don Beliv said: "Great! First they installed a donkey as our Secretary of Defence, now they are sending chickens out to do the work of real man. They'll be as useless as a broken drumstick!!!"

OracleX