Gambit excluded from X-Men 2 for bad influence

Roving columnist OracleX is your reporter and opinionist once again, bringing news to the Atomic MPCBS service. When things go down. OracleX is there, be it in a AWACS sentry plane, or a reinforced underground bunker.

20th Century Fox angered X-Men fans today when its spokesperson revealed that the X-Men character Gambit will be excluded from the up-and-coming sequel to the popular X-Men movie, called X2. Apparently, the studio believes Gambit will be a bad influence on the predominantly young audience.

'Gambit promotes gambling, and Fox is perfectly aware of the influence this would have on kids,' said the spokesman. 'X2 is a PG-13 movie and while the audience will contain people over 18, a vast number of watchers will be impressionable teenagers. The last thing we want to happen is for children to start idolising Gambit and his irresponsible behaviour.

'But this is not the end for him; we are looking at the option of submitting him to extensive therapy to shake his gambling habit. If he passes later evaluations, he can star in X3.'

Mr Gambit was clearly upset with the decision. In his usual place at a Vegas casino, he told the reporters that he was singled out because 'they' were jealous of his good luck. 'I don't see why I alone should be left out. After all, heaps of X-Men and Brotherhood of Mutants members are bad influences on children. Professor Xavier for example is psychic -- he can read people's minds. That's invasion of privacy! Rogue can steal powers from other mutants, which is theft! And Logan, he runs around wearing that disgusting yellow spandex suit all the time, it should be a crime! I just hope the kids will have better taste in fashion. . . say can you lend me a quarter? I'm very close to beating this slot machine, I know it!'

Many of Gambit's fellow mutants applauded the move however. Brotherhood of Mutants member Magneto said 'Serves the little bastard right! I hate the X-Men, but Gambit's got to be the worse of the lot. At least Xavier had manners, Black Jack Boy doesn't even say hello; he just throws cards at us every time we see him. And his gambling addiction is way out of control, one day he's going to get in trouble with the casino, and the loan sharks, and do a runner and they'll come to us for the money!'

Gambit defended his controversial fondness for games of chance. 'Hey I'm just trying to make a little money! Xavier is a bit of a tight-arse when it comes to allowances. It's not like I'm the only one trying to make a profit on the side -- don't even try to feign innocence Magneto! I know you're moonlighting as Gandalf the Wise for those Lord of the Rings people!'

OracleX