Kid safe website brainwashes parents

Back away from the X-box slowly and don't make eye contact... it may take on other forms!

Have you ever laid awake at night worrying about whether your child might be in severe danger because they caught the end of Terminator at a friend’s house? No neither have we, yet if you have you’d better hurry along to getgamesmart.com.

This delusional little website has been set up by an organisation which is clearly one of those 'wrap your kids in bubble wrap' kind of companies and god help any child who’s parents actually visit this site.

At first you may think, well at least it's thinking about our little dears and their 'media environment' and about three seconds later you realise that this website is nothing but a marketing scheme dressed up as a social responsibility.

And here's the kicker - guess who's behind the whole scheme. A quick surf of the site will quickly lead you to the realisation that the whole shebang is heavily centred on use of the Xbox and Windows gaming. That's right... it's all down to Microsoft (although they do list a number of of other 'partners'). Get 'em while they're young folks!

The first thing the website asks you to do is sign a PACT which will outline what your child should do and why. You are then asked to, “Keep it handy in a drawer. Stick it to the fridge or near the TV,” so that you can thrust it in their face if you find them playing when they shouldn’t be.

PACT of course is an acronym of Parental control, Access, Content and Time - just to make it sound a little less like a cult.

Next on the list is to take a family 'Pledge' to let the child know about what kind of media content is acceptable, the limit of how long they can play, sort out parental controls and online safety, talk about what images are acceptable on the computer and lastly, play together.

We hope it’s not just us that find this all a little bizarre, as it really does seem more like joining a sect rather than getting advice on safety measures.

The website goes on, with rules and regulations for every aspect of anything media related. The craziest one we could find was the rules around time, as it suggests - in accordance with The American Academy of Pediatrics - that children should have no longer than two hours of screen time a day. That’s all kinds of media combined.

If their parents want to read through all the guidelines on getgamesmart.com they will have taken up their entire quota on this one thing - no Grey's Anatomy for you tonight, Mum.

Although it is clear to see that the inspiration for this website came from a good place, the power seems to have overtaken the creator as a simple idea becomes an absolute insanity.

For example, keeping with the time section, not only does it suggest setting a time limit for the kids it suggests creating an actual "screen time tracker", even giving a link to one to download and then reinforcing this with a kitchen timer next to the Xbox – why not just get a big gong and crash it every ten minutes?

All this may seem strange enough, but the final icing on the cake for was the vomit inducing pictures and videos of smug happy family scenarios which parents who had found this scheme successful had sent in.

We’ve had to log off the web page now, before we get brainwashed ourselves – but go ahead and try it if you think you’re maleable enough to fall for it.