Frack the iPad

Atomic says Pfft! to the iPad launch - there's only one personal computing device we want.

So some thing called the iPad launched today. All our colleagues at Haymarket are going crazy getting unboxing videos online, or talking to retailers, or... I don't know. Staring raptly at the thing imagining story angles.

Bugger that. All we want is the PADD.

The Personal Access Display Device is the only computing accessory you need. As used by the Federation's Starfleet on all recent deployments, the PADD runs on sarium krellide power cells, and has an outer fascia made from boronite whisker epoxy, . It's tough enough for any mission, capable of operating after drops of up to 35 meters.

These clever devices run off a mix of dependable PCB components and more high-powered isolinear chips. Capable of independent computing, they far outmatch the lowly standard of the more terrestrial Apple device.

The PADD, however, comes into its own when networked with the vaster systems on board a starship. It is in fact possible to operate any major shipboard function from one of these devices, including flight operations.

Apple 0, Starfleet Corp of Engineers 1.

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34 Comments

orcone May 28, 2010 2:35 PM	if starwars is so good, why is major pikard dead
orcone May 28, 2010 2:35 PM	good one orcone!
Hawkeye May 28, 2010 2:37 PM	You've outdone even yourself.
philo-sofa May 28, 2010 2:37 PM	You guys are such geeks!! And someone has the ST:TNG Tehnical Manual.... don't ask how I know that.
Hawkeye May 28, 2010 2:39 PM	The TNG Tech Manual, the DS9 Manual... I even have an actual resin prop PADD at home!
Rage09 May 28, 2010 2:42 PM	And here I was thinking it would be something about BSG, shame on your misleading titles!
orcone May 28, 2010 2:43 PM	I'll bet you have a resin Captain Janeway as well!
Hawkeye May 28, 2010 2:49 PM	@RAge: It was more of a general SF reference :) @orcone: I hate you.
iamthemaxx May 28, 2010 3:20 PM	He.! The TNG tech manual is a great read!
iamthemaxx May 28, 2010 3:20 PM	Score one for spelling there.
iamthemaxx May 28, 2010 3:21 PM	Shit, I just pulled an orcone!
Hawkeye May 28, 2010 3:27 PM	Better than pulling a Robzy.
SceptreCore May 28, 2010 3:47 PM	I love those little things... they are so versatile. I bet you home Dave is a shrine to star trek, I'd pay to see your collection. BTW my model enterprise should be here soon, now just need some aztecing masks.... and maybe a lighting kit.
Jeruselem May 28, 2010 3:47 PM	I have a physical copy of the ST:TNG Tehnical Manual ...
Hawkeye May 28, 2010 3:56 PM	I might need to replace mine at some stage - it is seriously worn :) But no, Sceptre, my place isn't quite so Trekky as it used to be. I mean, I've only got one uniform these days!
philo-sofa May 28, 2010 4:08 PM	I'd already worn out my technical manual by the time I discovered girls DO NOT CARE about such things lol. I nonetheless still remember half of it and mused about the implementation of variable geometry warp nacelles in Voyager cf the prototype ships section in the back and so on. Truly it was Nirvana for Trekkies that thing! But yeah, frack the iPad; I'll bet the PADD had (SuperWarpSpeed) USB 17, or more likely IEEE 1394 8 x 10^9.
ArcaneMagik May 28, 2010 4:22 PM	Fuck PADD... I want tricorder! I want to be able to do a quick scan of someone's pc and steal all their files. Also the handy function of being able to scan nearly anything and have it tell you what the hell is wrong with it.
Dr Doom May 28, 2010 4:25 PM	screw all of that, gimme 7 of 9
sirtrancealot May 28, 2010 4:40 PM	I'm so glad you've all got your head on straight instead of being crammed right up apples nether regions like every other report i've read in the last week! kudos!! i think we can all agree 7/9 > PADD > Flaming Dog Poo > Any Apple product!
SceptreCore May 28, 2010 6:35 PM	Damn it hawkeye... I don´t even have one uniform! Though I did see that shop on eBay that sells them. But in my book that is going way too far. And Enterprise > Delta Flyer > 7 of 9 > Tricorder > PADD > FDP > Any Apple Product.
Craig Simms May 28, 2010 8:22 PM	Looks at his blueprints of the 1701-D and Star Trek encyclopedia A technical manual you say... Hollingworth, beer and warp theory arguments at your place, stat!
CAPS LOCK May 28, 2010 8:22 PM	i want a lightsaber...
MrInsaneBuff May 28, 2010 9:36 PM	CAPS LOCK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSNubaa7n9o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_Hq1f8-0E http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLcEYbAdyxk
SceptreCore May 29, 2010 1:18 AM	Damn... I'd love to be in on warp theory arguments.
Elfarch May 29, 2010 11:43 AM	So, been reading any of the Starfleet Engineer series of books then? No Orcone, silly boy. Hawkeye has one of Janeway's genuine resin wigs. ;{D
Sparky May 29, 2010 10:56 PM	To add to the debate 7 of 9 > Tricorder > PADD > Flaming Dog Poo > Herpes > Any Apple Product.
Blackorchad May 30, 2010 10:31 AM	Hawkeye Craig Simms This might appeal to you guys http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/BlackOrchad/Capture2.jpg http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/BlackOrchad/Capture7.jpg http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/BlackOrchad/DSCN0250.jpg http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/BlackOrchad/DSCN0249.jpg there's a book not in the photo's call the star trek chronology goes from the big bang right up until teh event in season 3 of voyager when the book was printed. there is a 1/350 scale model of the nx-01 that i am oh-so close to finishing with the navigation lights that actually flash- infact the whole then lights up
SceptreCore May 30, 2010 11:35 AM	Blackorchad that is some pure awesome right there. I wanted that Polar lights model, but ended up settling on the older AMT/ERTL version. :( Star Trek Books, Star Trek Movies, Star Trek Series, Star Trek Models, Lego. Me and you would be fast friends, of that I am sure. :)
Hawkeye May 31, 2010 9:49 AM	Hey Black, I have that book! It's awesome. My fave Trek technical books are the Ships of the Starfleet series. Non-canon, but written in the Jane's style, and they are a Trek nerd's true wet dream. I have the only two printed, Cruisers and Fast Escorts, and they are made of win.
Blackorchad May 31, 2010 8:51 PM	SceptreCore i sure we would be too. interesting thing about those photo's is that they were taken about 3 years ago. so the dvd collection is actually finished and the runabout has been mostly painted (i kind of stopped when i got the newer models) so stay tuned i'll hopefully be making a new thread int eh coming weeks with the pictures of the nx-01 finally complete with some 1701-e pictures to.
leey Jun 2, 2010 6:40 PM	the PADD runs on sarium krellide power cells, and has an outer fascia made from boronite whisker epoxy, . It's tough enough for any mission, capable of operating after drops of up to 35 meters----seems great! well, iPad is on fire, along with the accessories, maybe this is ipad fascination. Not a fanboy - that said, I just might be one now.... the iPad has already changed the way I do my work - the iPad is here to stay! And here share some of my collections: http://www.ifunia.com/ipad-column/index.html
elitePraetorian Jun 30, 2010 4:27 AM	Way to stick it to Apple :p
0s1r1s Aug 7, 2010 11:17 AM	"meters"
0s1r1s Aug 7, 2010 11:17 AM	someone needs to check their language settings

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