The Alzheimer’s of King X86 -- Part One

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By David Field
18:03 Mar 31, 2008

The Land of 32 Bit is a simple and peace loving kingdom that occupies an area of exactly 2^32.

In the centre is the sprawling Castle Kernel, where new wings are almost always under construction. Outside the castle the peasants plant rows of code, pearls are harvested from the C and butterflies flutter everywhere.

In the beginning, things were prosperous for the Land of 32 Bit, and the city expanded. The beloved but dim-witted King Windows the x86th ruled well, although the inadequate infrastructure plans he had drawn up years ago were known to be the cause of crashes in the streets.

Unbeknownst to the people, the King had a short memory. At first this went undetected -- as his initial advisor, Elder 80386, shared the same problem, and so the issue was never raised.

When the Land of 32 Bit expanded to just short of its current borders, Elder 80386, showing signs of age, retired, and was succeeded by Vizier x64. Vizier x64 had a vastly greater grasp of the kingdom and diplomacy than 80386, and seemingly forgot nothing.

As the kingdom expanded, King Windows the x86th became concerned about his borders and what lay beyond, but no matter how many times the Vizier told him what was out there, he simply forgot.

Eventually, in a fit of madness, the King proclaimed everything outside the kingdom to be the land of $null, a forbidden place, and closed down the borders of the Land of 32 Bit. Strict import and export rules were applied.

Things started becoming crowded; traffic ground to a halt. Resources were limited. The situation was slowly becoming unbearable.

The King’s son and heir, Prince Windows the x64th, begged his father to allow him to succeed to the throne -- he had the wit and wisdom to not only run the kingdom more efficiently, but to manage its continued growth beyond 2^32.

Despite his ability, the lords of the kingdom did not see him as a man of the people, and ignored him. Lord NVIDIA and Lord Creative, in particular, thumbed their noses and provided only token support when the Prince was watching. When his back was turned, they were loyal only to King Windows the x86th.

One afternoon standing atop the parapet, admiring the pretty Vista that was mired by a lack of progress, the King turned to the Prince.

"I've stayed longer than I should. This should have been your domain."

"Even if I have Vizier x64, I don't have the support of the Lords," replied the Prince, "they are the drivers. Without them I cannot operate. I fear they shall wait until you die."

"And the people shall be confused."

A moment passed, the DreamScene of the Land of 32 Bit laying before them.

"We need to expand,"

"THERE IS NOTHING BEYOND THE BORDERS!"

The King stormed off.

And what happened then? That's a tale for the next instalment...

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