Zalman Totally No Noise 500AF

Lian Li proved people are willing to spill wads of cash on a case. Now Zalman have raised the proverbial rod in stunning style.

Zalman are well renown for creating high performance cooling solutions, without the pancreas-ripping auditory pain. Now they've entered a new market -- that being richly expensive top-of-the line cases -- with silent performance-cooling being the primary idea. Lian Li proved to everyone that cases are an arena people are willing to spill wads of cash on. Now Zalman have raised the proverbial rod in stunning style, producing the second most expensive box we have set our hands on. The $1900 VapoChill being the priciest.

The case itself is the heatsink, with all the hot bits inside connecting to it via a maze of golden heatpipes with connection points on either end. With 23 large fins on either side and weighing in at an ultra-lazy weight of 35KGs, this is no light-case love child. For dissipation, it relies on natural convection, hence the largely spaced fins.

Nonetheless, a small breeze even just from a window, is recommend for superior dissipation. Perhaps not coincidentally, this is the same situation as with Zalman's Reserator 1 (reviewed, issue 41). Simply throwing on a 120mm fan can make all the difference between effective cooling and a lukewarm radiator. If the CPU has a heat rating of 100W or above, a 120mm exhaust fan is required.

In terms of its design, it's practically flawless. It is by far the most rock-solid case we've seen, with an exterior that even a hammer would have fun attempting to pierce. We pity the fool who tries that expensive operation. How it was tempting. . .

The CPU, video card and Northbridge are all accounted for in terms of passive cooling, with a cooling plate assigned for each. There are six heatpipes for the CPU, each of which are capable of carrying 150W of heat. These are in two separate groups so as to spread the heat over the case better. The video card (no SLI support) has three, each rated at 75W and the Northbridge has one rated at 20W. These are all relatively flexible in terms of their positioning. There are also eight aluminium 'thermal blocks' that transfer heat from prime locations on the back of the mobo to the case.

Piecing together the heatpipes and cooling plates is as simple as gooping up the back plate's channels, whacking in the heatpipes and screwing on the front plate.

For the CPU and video card, mounting holes are crucial for installing the cooling plates, but for the Northbridge the plate sticks on top of the actual heatsink. If the chipset has active cooling on it, you may need to replace it with a passive heatsink.

Ingeniously, there's an internal lamp, keeping the inside well-lit for those occasional necessary adjustments.
It seems Zalman are pushing this mammoth toward the HTPC market, because among its plethora of features, it also comes with an IR port, a remote and HTPC software called 'Multi-Median'. The originality is oozingly delicious. The front window allows the IR signal through.

As expected of cases in this price range, all sharp edges have been completely rounded off. That said, we still managed to draw blood by slamming an unco wrist to the drive bay area.

The only real complaints we have, aside from the moolah factor, are weight and the proprietary 400W PSU, which is also passively cooled. Also, most tasks will require a screwdriver, including entry.

Kudos to Zalman for producing possibly the most extensive and useful case manual ever made.

If you're interested in the most deluxe case money can barely afford, the TNN 500AF is the supreme King Kameha-Meha. Additionally, if your lounge can fit such an shaggy-looking black case, we want your babies.