Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis

Table Tennis. From, wait for it, Rockstar. What can't they do?

Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis was a bit of an oddity for me. Apart from having a name so long anacondas in South America shrivel in its presence, I found it immensely enjoyable. The thing is, I’m pretty darn crap at sports games. From kicking own goals in FIFA to averaging 4000 over par in Everybody’s Golf, sports games really hate me. And usually, I hate them too.

Not so for Table Tennis. You might be asking yourself at this point why the heck Rockstar has made a table tennis game when we all know its proficiency lies with games about driving cars around giant sandbox cities with an AK-47 and a ho in the trunk. The answer to this question is that a different Rockstar studio is responsible. If you’ve ever played Midnight Club or Red Dead Revolver, then you’re already familiar with its work. This is good, because Table Tennis isn’t about large, sprawling open-endedness – it’s about intensity.

Getting into the game is easy – just select a game type, a player and a play area. Hitting the ball is all about on-the-spot decisions, not decoding the control pad. The four main buttons control spin while the thumb sticks manage direction. That’s it. Rockstar has taken the Xbox 360 and created a truly next-generation title by removing the main barrier to any game – learning to play it.

Characters are limited to start with, as are play areas, all unlocked in the various game modes. Playing the first few matches of the Tournament mode for example gives you access to new shirts for your players. Admittedly these are hardly inspirational rewards and can be a bit detracting, but perseverance will show you the way to the goodies in due course.

Every character is different, with more than the four stats of spin, accuracy, speed and power determining how they play. Jesper, a big Swede who hits with an arm made for lifting Volvos feels heavy on the controls while Kumi, a fragile agile Japanese girl makes the controller as lithe as she looks.

Speaking of looks – the character models are fantastic. Skin, sweat, facial expressions are modelled with such a degree of accuracy that you’ll be trying to wipe the virtual dampness from your brow. The characters will get agitated if
they’re losing, calling out insults and fidgeting. The crowd is just
as dynamic.

Forget Top Spin – once you’ve played Rockstar’s Table Tennis, Top Spin will seem slow by comparison. If you like the idea of the former but found that you were pretty average, pick this game up. With its focus and intensity and reliance on instinct rather than button combos, you might find it more to your liking.