Thermaltake Lanbox VF1000BWS

The little case that thinks it's a dumbbell.

Thermaltake is the commander of all that is Plastinium, but it has seemingly moved up a level in the pseudo-table of elements, at least both in and for this case.

We’ll call this new Atomic-ordained element ‘Steelasticum’, as both the case covers and framework primarily consist of a steel origin, featuring an aluminium front punched out with USB, FireWire, and headphone jacks. It’s also fused with a healthy dose of plastic, including two Perspex windows, a 90mm intake and two 60mm exhaust fans.

The designers definitely understood certain aspects of the LAN party, as seven thumbscrews are used to hold the motherboard tray in place. That’s bound to discourage the damn prying fingers.

Once unscrewed, the micro-ATX mobo tray slips out entirely, making way for installation of the power supply, with front-accessible 3.5-inch and 5.25-inch drive bays, of which there are one and two, respectively.

Under those drive bays, there is a removable cage that houses an additional two 3.5-inch drives. It also has a gaping vent in each window and big grating above the PSU. So, ventilation isn’t a problem, but dust will be.

Up to this point, it’s a fairly useful LAN case. The inherent problem with this cocoon, however, is it needs to be fairly collapse-resistant while being lugged around. At 7.5kg, it’s heavy enough to rip your spine out. Or thereabouts.

This wouldn’t be a problem for a computer, ordinarily, but considering this brick-filled bucket was made for easier carting of your computer to LAN parties, this more than bugs us.

According to its website, this case is ‘your ultimate weapon for the cyber world.’ (Seriously, check out the site’s intro – it’s both amusing and screwy).

It’s a weapon, that’s for sure. It’s the sort of thing you’d find in Wile E. Coyote’s deadly weapon stash.

If you’ve ‘got chub’ and don’t mind the thought of a work-out when porting your system around, this’ll likely melt away the excess. Who says gaming can’t give ripples of muscle?