Transformers

Michael Bay shows the doubters it was in safe hands all along.

Apologies must be given to Michael Bay. We entered this film thinking it would be an unmitigated disaster – but not so.

Sure, the ramblings of the information siphoning robot named Frenzy were ‘comical’ in the way Lucas believes Jar-Jar Binks is ‘comical’, and the film was nearly unseated by the over the top shtick of the head of Section Seven – but somehow everything else remained on track.

The story covers the arrival of the Autobots and Decepticons on Earth, in search of the ‘All Spark’ – a cube that brings life to all machines. Slightly different from the original animated series, but it still works.

Megatron, tyrant of the Decepticons plans to use it to create himself an army out of Earth’s machines. Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots decides destroying it is the only option, despite being the life giver of his race. The race is on to see who can find it first, the only link being Sam Witwicky – a descendant of the man who discovered the cube on Earth decades ago.

There’s a ridiculous amount of fan service here – a huge number of tie-ins, references and lines from the cartoon and original movie, and a few ironies to boot, making sure even the most ardent Transformers fan is satisfied, while never alienating the rest of the audience. They’re simply elements of the story designed to give those in the know a little kick. For example, sitting next to Bumblebee in a car lot is a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Subtle, but non invasive for those who don’t know the history.

The controversy surrounding the different look of the robots falls by the wayside very quickly – yes they’re different, yet somehow the characters still shine through, especially Prime, given life by the original voice actor, the majestic Peter Cullen. The Decepticons are a little different – more used as a permanent threat until the end – only Megatron really has the opportunity to express character. This actually works in favour of the movie, with no time for posing Starscream, who embodies the term ‘menacing threat’, while the rest serve purely as agents of destruction.

While this is very much an action movie, there are still the strong sentiments of a moral tale present – summed up by Prime through the mantra ‘freedom is the right of all sentient beings’ and his willingness for self sacrifice to save others if necessary.

Rather than the special effects feeling like they’ve taken over the film like the Star Wars prequels, they simply are a part of the film – nothing in this regard is used in excess. Humour is well paced, action is frantic (sometimes too frantic, making it exceptionally hard to see what’s going on, especially in robot-on-robot battles), and at the end of the film you can’t help but feel Bay has done justice to a film that could have easily been massacred.

The human characters are, thankfully, utterly bearable. The young boy-to-man hero is played with likeable conviction by Shia LaBeouf. His love interest, rising vixen Megan Fox, looks sensational and sexy, but is an independent lass not afraid to get into the fight when the world needs another hero.

Jon Voight does a sterling job as Secretary of Defense. He’s the ‘Harrison Ford in Airforce One’ style of U.S. politician. He’s got guts, integrity and knows how to pack a gun.

Amusingly, the U.S. President is only momentarily shown, we don’t see his face or hear his name, but do hear a familiar Texan drawl, while, as the world erupts around him, he’s only interested in watching the big game on TV and ordering his staff to bring him more chocolate Ding Dongs. Nice one, Mr Bay.

There’s enough leads in the ending to insinuate sequels – but even with the promises of a James Earl Jones voiced Unicron and the appearance of Soundwave, we’d prefer the movie to stay at just one rather than become a Pirates of the Caribbean disaster.

Those who remember heroes that used to stand for integrity, selflessness and virtue and not the tired old ‘anti-heroes’ of today will love it, as will nostalgiacs and big kids alike.

If you don’t, you don’t have a heart.